Moving Slowly

Good Morning my friends! I am sitting in a sunbeam working on a coffee and thinking about the year ahead. Come the new year I just felt weary, lacking inspiration, and needing rest. I decided to extend our school break, as I just couldn’t muster the mental energy to school 3 kids while entertaining a toddler.

So, I gave myself permission to move slowly. I think we live in a fast world. For many of us, 2020 showed us just how many balls we had in the air, how quickly we move, and how demanding that can be. I experienced life “coming to a halt” while very much continuing on. How to keep living, when there are so many roadblocks in front of me, has been a journey.

There has also been so. much. thinking. So much sorting. So much decerning… so much talking. So much noise.

I think one of the best ways for me to find quiet, and rest, is to move away from the online world. We are bombarded with so many images, words, opinions, thoughts. Being told what is and isn’t ok, by who knows? So, the internet became a draining place for me.

I used to love to share creatively, but to be honest I haven’t felt very creative. I don’t know what I want to photograph, or share, I am just kind of tired. And that’s ok.

So, as I have been moving slowly, I have noticed little sparks. There has been so much mourning in my heart the last year, that I have very much been in a grieving process. Can you relate?

This morning I feel peace. I feel lighter. I am soaking up the sunbeams on my face, and my mood is lifting. I am beginning to look forward to spring. I am beginning to see life emerge around me.

Because I am a gardener, the seasons are constantly on my mind. I have my favorite seasons, like spring and summer… but I also see the need of seasons like winter. Where the frost moves in, and it appears that life has stopped. I miss the color and the pace of summer. I miss the wonder, and excitement of the first spring blooms. But, winter is needed. Because though it brings sudden death to some things, it also allows for regeneration, new growth below the surface, deep roots, and most of all, a greater appreciation for the prolific life found in other seasons.

After a long, grey, dull winter, my eyes become hungry for green. When I first spot it, my heart begins to race. The wonder of life emerging from hard, cracked soil never stops. If not for the winter, I know I would not appreciate it the same.

I’m thankful for how well God knows his kids. He has listened to my questions, my groaning, my complaining, my fears. And he has remained steady. Isn’t that good news?

I don’t have to fear. I know that he remains constant. In a world that seems to be changing daily, I am also comforted by the peace that nothing has really changed. God is still good. He has me here for a reason. We are all here for such a time as this, and that has begun to excite me! God knew this day would come. He knew about 2020, and 2021… and all the years after. You know what it says about God’s plans for his kids?

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

“The plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations.” Psalm 33:11

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” II Peter 3:9

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

On Saturday mornings our kids ski. We get everything ready the night before. I like to do this so we aren’t scrambling or looking for anything last minute. My oldest boys like to make sure they are up at least an hour before we need to leave. It’s cold and dark then. Now it’s important to note that my 12 year old is beginning to have teenage style sleeping habits… sometimes it’s hard to get him out of bed at 9. Which never used to be the case. But on Saturdays he is eager to get up. The last few weeks he moves into the kitchen while Matt and I grab some extra sleep… and he makes omelettes for the entire family. He visits with his younger brother, who lends a hand.

It’s his own ritual. It’s his own peace. It’s an act that he just decided to do. And it’s taught me that we can take steps to move slowly, so that we don’t miss out on the gifts and the ways we can serve others around us, which in turn reminds us of our purpose here. Isn’t it amazing to have the time to move slowly?

It doesn’t happen on it’s own.

It humbles me how God can use the most unexpected moments to teach me, to remind me, and to speak to me. What a friend we’ve found in Jesus. I hope you know how very much you are loved and needed by all those around you. In a simple act of bringing beauty, offering encouragement, or making an omelette. It means more to people than you know.

-Miss Ash