There has been a recent call to action regarding the show “Skins” of MTV.
I asked myself, where does my heart stand in response to this call to mothers, to stand up for the innocence of our children. Some have seemed indifferent, others have responded with “teens will be teens” while others have more insight into the monster behind the message. “Skins” is not simply about showing the everyday activities of a typical teen, or generating a relaxed attitude to what the media is trying to impose as a societal norm. No, it is fueled by a much larger beast.
The over sexualization of our culture is at an all time high. From little girls gyrating to openly sexual music at a dance recital, or 20 somethings and soccer moms heading to their “pole dancing” or “striptease” class, to females aspiring to be the scantily clad girls prancing around in front of male music stars; in my opinion, we as a culture need to say enough is enough. If we don’t, who will? Why on earth do we try to defend things that we ourselves know are destructive, all in an attempt to protect “freedom.” I would ask this, what is true freedom?
If freedom is chasing one high to the next, living a life intoxicated and incoherent, or losing your life because of an STI you caught at a party, when you slept with someone you had never met, what kind of hope can you have for your future? Is it falling in love at 25, and having to tell your future husband that you are infertile because of a choice you had made at 15. Does this make you a lesser person? No. Does this mean there is not room for hope, or new dreams? No. Could it be that you might have made a different choice, if someone would have been there for you as a teen, or helped to show a better way to you as a child? So much of what our children learn is based upon what they see. How could we say it is any different for a teen?
Is it beneficial to anyone to glorify destructive behaviour?
I have worked with youth and teens (more specifically female youth and teens) for the last 10 years. As a children’s camp counsellor, mentor, dance instructor, english teacher, and Pregnancy Care Centre counselor I have spent time with the youth of our society on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis. While this does not make me an expert in youth behaviour, or youth period, it has taught me some things. I have learned that no matter our age, race, gender or status, each person wants to know that they have value. People are asking the questions “Am I loved? Am I important to someone? Do others care about what I have to offer?” I have learned that young people are often most limited by the limits we as adults place on them! Not in the “you are not responsible enough to make decisions” sense, but in the “well, you are going to inevitably screw up anyways, just try not to kill yourself, and we’ll let you pick up the pieces later.”
A child believes he can accomplish anything. As he grows, he learns that some things are out of reach, but he continues to create, learn, and dream. As pre-teens we begin to see the insecurities come out in a child. They become self concious of their appearance, their laugh, their abilities. As a teen, which could be described by an adult as one of the most awkward and challenging times in life, we begin to see glimpses of maturity. A testing of the waters if you will, in the primary areas of life, asking the questions: “is this safe? what are the benefits or consequences of my action? what is my identity?” One begins to learn that yes, indeed, you must be responsible for your own actions.
10 years ago, I was 15. The story portrayed on MTV’s “Skins” was not my reality. I certainly had friends that got into drugs, some who had sex for the first time, and others that began to get into partying. I myself was faced with that environment, was in it, but didn’t become “it”. I didn’t drink, I didn’t have sex, and I didn’t do drugs. Does that make me better? No. I simply made a choice that I didn’t want to do it, and wasn’t going to. Did that mean my choice was always easy to stick to? No. I believed that I had a choice to choose a different path, and that I was worth something to somebody. That I was worth something to myself. I also did not watch “helplessly” as my friends made their “bad” choices. I confronted them on it! Was it because I was a goody-goody, or I didn’t want them to have their teenage fun? No, it was because I loved them. Who wants to see their friend retract into themselves because they made a “mistake” and slept with someone. Who wants to see someone they love describe themself as dirty or worthless? While it doesn’t mean that they ARE dirty or worthless, their perception of their own self-worth has been completely altered for the worse. Now we must work to infuse those lies with TRUTH! Truth of their beauty, their abilities, and their desire to succeed in life. To pick up the pieces and help them rebuild. I would like to challenge you, me, and the people who have “supported” skins to ask whether they are willing to do that for the kids on this show, or the countless number of “teens, just like them.” Let’s build people up to be better, not worse. To dream, not die.
For me, protesting “Skins” doesn’t come down to intolerance, or anti-freedom, and it certainly isn’t censorship. It’s not about being in denial that teens, like this portrayed on Skins don’t exist. For me it is about value. I know so many kids, and teens that look at our world, and realize that they can make a difference. They can have a positive impact on another individual, to bring purpose and value not only to their own life, but to the lives of others. I am inspired by the elementary school in our community that raised enough money to build a home for orphans in Tanzania, all on their own initiative. I am inspired by the highschool students who are organizing a workshop to fight the trafficking and exploitation of individuals. I am inspired by the woman who was once a scared teen, sitting in an office, faced with a choice when her pregnancy test came out positive, living life with her son- even though it hasn’t been easy. These are the people who inspire me. Real Life. Real Choices. Real People. This is what is real. And if it isn’t your reality, wouldn’t you want to see more of it? To be inspired by it?
What if MTV went to each of the teens that are on skins, and said “Hey, we will pay you to share your creative ideas about how to make a positive change in the life of somebody else. Why? Because we believe you are people of value, with great ideas, and dreams for a better future. We believe you can bring something positive to the people of this world, and we are going to give you an amazing platform to do it! A tv show! Let us help you map out your dreams, and achieve them, because we believe you are worth it.” I would tune in to watch.
There are many teens that don’t have the support they need. If you know one, reach out to them. They might seem like they’ve got it all together, but inside are desperate for a hug, a shoulder, an ear. You never know the difference you can make. Years ago I read an email chain about a young girl who never felt like anyone noticed her. Everyday she waited for someone to talk to her, for a teacher to engage with her and notice, for someone to be her friend. On the day she cleared out her locker, she planned to go home and take her life. But what happened? Someone invited her over after school, and that girl’s life was forever changed. It was saved. Nothing we do in life is flippant, and I hope we can all realise that no action occurs without consequence. Why exploit the innocence of others, or yourself, for entertainment?
I did a simple google search “teen help line” and came up with SO MANY results. Here are just a few, if you are a teen in need of some help, and stumbled across this blog. Know that someone cares about you, and the voice you have been given! Don’t give up.
Teen Central: http://www.teencentral.net/Help/other.php
Teen Hope Line: http://www.teenhopeline.com/
Kids Help Phone: http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/Home.aspx
Teens Helping Teens : http://teenlineonline.org/teens/
Do you think there are kids in this world that need help? Abuse, addiction, bullying…. let’s start with highlighting solutions and outlets, not more of the problem.