I Was Going to Write about Blankets, but I Spilled My Guts Instead

Sometimes I read blogs and I feel like I have to come to my blog and give you all the answers, 100 instructional tips for how to have a pretty house and put together life. But. Thats not me!

Sometimes I share tutorials about how to do things (based on how I do them) and I always preface them with I AM NOT AN EXPERT. I’m just a girl who couldn’t afford to hire a painter, or a home builder, or a designer. I like that kind of stuff though (like painting all the things, building stuff, and creating spaces we love) so it’s natural for me to want to talk about it on my blog.

The last few months this space has more page views, and more subscribers- and I wonder who these people are, and why they are here. (I’m talkin’ about you!) Did they come because of a tutorial, a room reveal or a post about my dad’s suicide? Or perhaps because I am a mom who blogs, home schools, and on occasion is known to write about poop? Maybe because they know me in real life, and want to see what I am up to. What are they expecting…

Expectations are a funny thing. We all have them. I am constantly having to check mine- as well as the expectations others put on me.

This week my son has had chicken pox, my daughter is potty training- and I have a family wedding next weekend so I am just hoping and praying my other kids get the pox if they are gonna get them- so we can go. I’m trying to get ready for the homeschool year, and it feels like my husband and I have 101 things coming up over the next few weeks. I am a hermit so this stresses me out,  but I am not so much of a hermit that I enjoy being house bound by sickness: FYI I don’t want to be.

My husband is a film maker with his own company- and in case we didn’t all know it- being self employed for forever, working from contract to contract, with a family of 5= stress, trust and a whole lot of faith+ some tears from me and doubting/grabbing at straws/trying to help/ok we can do this.

Within all this, I just need a break sometimes- so that means refinishing furniture- or my weekly ritual of arranging flowers. It is so therapeutic to me. I love to play with color and texture.

side note+ pretty things: I was inspired by these gorgeous sunflowers from my garden. They are just so sweet. Paired with the tender little sweet peas… ahh! It’s too much

I have been trying to make this little space one worth stopping by for you. I want there to be content that is inspiring and refreshing. Your time is valuable and I really value that you share it with me. Within that, I am trying to remain true to who I am, and what this blog is. I was challenged recently to come up with a mission statement for this space- the why- and truth be told, it’s hard for me to articulate.

When I think about why I started this blog- it wasn’t to help people decorate their homes. It wasn’t to share my tips for motherhood, and it wasn’t to make money.

I think it is so important to ask yourself the “why” questions. The value of what it is you are offering, and to have purpose behind the things you build and put energy into. I like to remember though, that I won’t always know the results or value through things like numbers and feed back. The people that really impact me, in faith, lifestyle and home- probably don’t even know it. Some do- and what a gift- but many don’t.

I started this blog because I wanted to write. I wanted to share the ways I was being challenged. I wanted to share about the crafts and projects I was doing. I was a mama of 2, and I felt like I wanted to talk about some of this mothering stuff. I was a daughter who had lost her dad to suicide, and watched her family fall into a very broken state. I was in a broken state. I was a believer learning to navigate the hard stuff with Christ, in a world that had offered him as a band-aid and a promise for no more sorrow, yet I was drowning in it.

I think I started this blog most of all- because ever since I was a girl, I felt I had a story to share. I will be honest that I still don’t know what exactly it is. And while my blog may not be perfectly branded, or my instagram a cohesive color scheme- I love sharing in this space, because it presses hard on my heart to do so. One day I might have those things together- because I do think they are valuable, but for now, this is where I am at.

I love connecting with people from all over the world- over common ground. Be it loss, or parenting, faith or DIY projects. Each one of you mean so much to me- because this space was born out of vulnerability and the internet. The fact that you take the time to read, to comment, to like or whatever- is a special to me. Truly.

xo

-Miss Ash