Gabriel’s Birth Story

I will never forget the moment we found out we were pregnant with baby number 2. I will be honest to say that a little bit of fear and shock set in… I would be a mamma to 2 babes, {just} less than 2 years apart. As the months went on, I began to prepare for this little baby. While we didn’t know just who was inside my belly, he seemed to be an active part of our lives from very early on. Of course with E I had no morning sickness, but with baby G I threw up every day for 5 months! (second babies…) However, just in time for our trip to New Zealand, the sickness subsided, and I spent 3 glorious months a nest the beach with my toddler at my side and my little babe safe and snug inside my belly. I loved just floating in the ocean, it was so calming and soothing. I had a really great pregnancy with baby G, and when we returned home to Canada at 33 weeks, I began to anticipate his approaching arrival.

He was “due” April 21. At the time we didn’t know he would be a he, and had a hard time determining our names. I was somehow more nervous and more at ease all at the same time when thinking about the birth. More at ease because I knew that eventually a baby would come out, but more nervous because I knew what to expect. Yet as the days and weeks began to pass, a peace set in. My body would bring this baby into the world, just as it had {his} brother.

It was a Thursday morning, April 22 when I woke up with some noticeable cramping. Not sure if these were Braxton Hicks or not, I continued trying to rest. I spoke with Matt and suggested he stay home from work for a little while to be with me, just to see if things began to progress. This called for a bit of celebration and so my brother and sister in law invited us over for waffles! Nothing quite like whipping cream delights on a sunny morning. I remember coming to their place (a short walk down the road) and beginning to feel more activity. I chose to keep standing as this was more comfortable. I remember the looks on everyone’s face after I breathed through some discomfort, only to realize at the end they were all looking… expecting.

My sister in law (a massage therapist) offered to give me a little massage to help me relax, and to see if things slowed or continued to progress. She said I had maybe 2 contractions during the 30 minutes, but things really started to slow and then stop more or less. I went home with my boys, and Matt and I spent the duration of E’s nap trying to decided on baby names. If I was going into labor, we were going to need to decide!

I was able to take a good rest on the couch that afternoon, around 2pm. The excitement began to wear off and I settled within myself that today was not the day. My sister-in-law had been on stand by to attend to me during labor, but I gave her the go ahead to head to work. She started work at 4:30pm. 30 minutes later Matt called to say I was in labor, and that she might want to head over.

I remember those 30 minutes. Things went from nothing to something.Wondering, I paced. E looked at me. I started to breath and walk (which is where I feel best in early labor) and then it came. I ran to the bathroom, and threw up. This was the time that Matt decided to call Christy. Yet I was still so unsure. He knew better than I did. Things had felt so irregular. One contraction would be really intense, and the next piddly. I still wasn’t convinced that I was in labor.

When Christy arrived she began to apply pressure to my back. Each contraction was different, and I continued to move and sway as needed. As things became more intense, we decided that my brother in law should take E. He didn’t like to see his mamma in pain, and he started to get a bit uneasy with it all.

It was then that Matt suggested we may want to head to the hospital. “Really? Do you think I am actually in labor?” “Babe, I think this is it.” “Okay… well are you sure? I don’t want to go to early..” Matt and Christy confirmed that they thought it was time, judging by my body language. I felt so unsure in that moment, and I needed to hear that from them.

We got into the car, and made the drive to the hospital. I was praying things wouldn’t be too intense during the drive (I don’t like sitting while in labor) and thankfully we made it through without major contractions. When we arrived at the hospital, things seemed to slow down, and I wondered if we had acted to quickly. I was hoping to be further along then when I had arrived at the hospital with my first baby. Again, I was shooting for at least 5 cm.

The nurse allowed me to stand as she held the monitor to my belly, both to monitor my contractions and to check on the baby’s heat beat. This nurse was a true Godsend! She told me to just do my thing, and would gently move the monitor off my belly when she saw I was contracting. She apologized that I would have to get on the table to check me, and waited until I was ready. She checked and I was at 2cm. Disappointment filled me, but I tried to remain positive. I had been 3cm when I arrived with E, and I began to mentally prepare myself for a long labor. The nurse said that they would usually send me home, because they don’t keep women that are less than 3cm with second babies, I was kind of right in that window. She said she could call the doctor and see- he said it was up to us. We hummed and hawed, as I was still uncertain… and Matt helped to decide that we stay. Going home meant 3 more unnecessary car rides.

The nurse told us that she would be attending me. I began to explain through contractions that I did not want to be constantly checked. I did not want to be reminded of the time, and would prefer to be left alone unless necessary. I gave her our birth plan, and was met on the way to my labor room by my sister and mother-in-law. I had invited them both to be with us during the labor and delivery.

For some, I know they would not want to have others in the room with them during labor. For me, this is what felt natural. For my husband and I to be surrounded by those we trust and love. I also wanted my sisters to be witness to the miracle of life in child birth! Attending my oldest sisters birth was such an amazing gift to me, and I wanted to be able to share that gift.

My nurse smiled, and they introduced themselves. She was happy to have them and would explain things and answer questions. My contractions came and went with varying intensity.

And then, things became much more intense. I recall dancing with Matt, humming, breathing… holding on. Moving to the rhythms of my baby. This baby was going to come, we would meet this little life soon.

I tried to keep out of the bath for as long as possible. I had spent my early labor with E in the tub to ease the nausea, but in retrospect felt it may have slowed things down a bit. My prayer throughout my pregnancy was that I would not experience the nausea I had in labor with E, and not have to get an IV for fluids because of dehydration. God answered that prayer, and the only time I threw up was at home, which triggered our trip to the hospital, and gave us some confirmation that I was indeed in labor.

I recall my nurse checking me, and I was at 7cm. When Matt began to tell me how long that had been, I shushed him… not wanting the monkey of time ticking in the back of my mind. As things intensified, I chose to go into the shower. I recall heading to the washroom, and having a strong contraction, the nurse behind me. As I gasped “Matty” my nurse called “Matty, she needs you.” And Matt came to hold me. She touched my heart with her willingness to serve us as needed, and her ability to respect how we would birth this baby. It was a team effort for Matt and I. As the contractions went all over the map, I confessed to Matt that I didn’t know if I could do it. Things were so very painful, and I had hardly been in labor. I remember sitting on the ball, saying “I’m so tired. It’s so intense. Maybe I should try the gas?” “You can do this love, because you ARE. You are doing it right now, and that baby is going to come. You are okay.” “I am?” “Yes.”

Those were the words I needed to hear. I needed to know that there was strength to come for the laboring ahead. As I moved again around the labor room, I remember moving my arms and legs, stomping my feet against the ground, swaying, spinning. My sister likened it to a war dance, as that baby began to move down. I was hit by a strong contraction, and I fell to the ground. I called out to Jesus. And I recall everyone in the room gently praying. They were right along side me.

I asked my nurse if she thought it would be okay for me to go into the tub a while, and she agreed that I could. She thought it would help me to rest a bit, and find some relief from the intensity of it all. {I use the word intense so much, because I don’t know how else to describe it!} She ran a bath (oddly enough with bubbles) and I made my way into the tub. As I got into the tub, a contraction hit, and  I struggled to hold myself up with all the slippery bubbles. But this one was different.

“Matt. Get the nurse.”

pause

“Matt. Get the nurse. I need to get out.”

“Out? You just got in.”

“I feel pushy. I needed to push, I need out.”

Matt rushed out the door and calmly told the nurse “Umm. She says she needed to push?”  I pulled myself out, and toweled off. I did not know it at the time, but the head nurse glared to my attending nurse “You should have checked her before she got in!” The floor went into a frenzy. I made my way to the labor room. I had been telling the nurses throughout the labor that “my bottom is hurting. there is a lot of pressure…” to which they would reply, “yes dear. you are having a baby.” (but I knew this felt different than before!)

At this time my water still had not broken, so mentally I still thought I was at 8cm or so (because that was when it broke last time :-/…) and had several hours to go. I had one major contraction, and responded with “Oh no, I need to push…” to which my mother said oh no, and the nurses said okay! I thought really? Its ok? But… but… I still have hours to go? My water hasn’t broken.

The nurses frantically tried to get me up to the bed, that had a drop down end so that I could sort of squat supported? I had a major contraction as I tried to climb up, and I screamed like a banshee. (my sisters told me they were scared at this moment) it was MAJOR!!! “My bottom!” I shouted. The nurses and Matt flipped me, while the head nurse fiddled with the bed, and told me they were new, and they had these new labor bars to hold onto… she threw it out of the way, and realized it wasn’t needed.

At this moment, I was feeling confused. I remember a flurry of activity… there could have been 2 or 20 nurses in the room. I don’t know. I just remember thinking my nurse should be down there, but she was beside me reassuring me, as the head nursed washed and prepared. (this was all happening in about 5-10 minutes, from the bath to the bed)

I pushed again and the nurse said “Okay, here are the membranes… And the head!”

I was in shock. What? The head. The head. But? My water hasn’t even broken. I laughed and we breathed, and the nurse talked herself through. Within a minute or two I pushed a second time and baby came right out. In a slippery watery mess. Everyone in the room was a bit shocked and giddy.

I was exstatic. My baby was just born! My baby. I reached down, and the nurse placed him in my arms. I held him and admired him. So tiny, so precious. Our boy. He came right on time and in a timely manner. I felt amazing. My family was waiting in the hall (my brother, my father-in law and other brother in-law) they came in just after he was born. My doctor arrived a little bit frazzled. This was the second time she missed delivering our baby (she was away the first time) but that was okay.

The nurses were amazing, and allowed me to just sit with him on my chest as the chord pulsed. My little sister cut Gabriel’s chord. I will always remember that. It was amazing. It was amazing to share that moment with these women of strength and love.

Here we were with this little baby. Our baby. A baby boy. I held him and he began to nurse after everyone cleared the room. I felt amazing! I got up within an hour to walk to the washroom… with baby E I hobbled for weeks. With Gabriel I walked like a normal person. Everything was so quick, that my body just seemed to take it all in stride.

Our nurse (who was 33 weeks pregnant, but quite tiny, so it was hard to tell at first) explained to us that she loved the way we brought our baby into the world. She said everything about the labor was right, and she really respected our relationship to birthing, we did what we needed to do for that baby- she wanted to have a labor experience similar to ours. I wanted to tell her she should be a midwife, because she was so good and gentle and in tune with what was going on. I just loved her. I ran into her months later (after she had given birth) and she still remembered us. The whole experience with her was just so encouraging to me about birthing in a hospital, it is not all horror stories!

When Matt and I were alone with our sweet boy we looked at him. Who was he. What was his name? This boy. Another little boy. He was so perfect. There had been one name out of the hundreds we looked at that stood out to me. Gabriel: The Lord is my strength.

This is something that God not only taught me throughout Gabriel’s labor, but throughout my whole pregnancy. I could not just rely on myself or anyone else, but needed to rely on Him.

Little Gabriel Benjamin. He was born 3 hrs and 20 minutes after we arrived at the hospital. (sometime after 9pm) Matthew went home that night to be with E around 1am. I felt confident and glad to be with my little bub. He slept 6 hrs that night- I was up all night with after pains (but that is another story.) The next morning I was so excited and a bit nervous for E to meet his little brother. I was also excited to see him, as this was the first night we had ever spent apart. I missed him. I will never forget their first meeting. It was love at first sight. Elijah has only ever adored his baby brother, watched over him, and squeed with joy each morning! It has been tenderly “Gabey” from the start. A gift to both of these boys to have a brother, and a gift to both Matt and I to be their parents.

and then there were 2.