Breast feeding

Is breastfeeding acceptable in our society today?

I have many _________ feelings when it comes to breast feeding. Don’t get me wrong, as far as blanket statements are concerned, I am a breast feeding advocate. I breast fed my first son until 19mths, which was unavoidable but a bit premature for him, and am currently breast feeding my second son, who is now 14mths. I believe as the saying goes, that “breast is best.” My mom gave birth to 6 babies, all of whom were breastfed. I can remember breastfeeding my doll while she fed my baby brother at the tennis club.  It always seemed normal, natural, and what mommies do to feed their babies.

When I was pregnant, people often said “will you try breast feeding?” Of course! Won’t I? But it was that little word “try” that can seep in like a poison, and place that hint of doubt inside you saying, “Maybe I won’t be able to do it.”

I can remember my sister coming to visit when E was 3 days old. She was nursing her then 22mth old, and she joked with me that she could feed baby E. I almost took her up on it. I was so SORE. You know how they tell you to pop baby off if it hurts? Because the latch is not correct. Well, DO IT! Easy to say, I know. That’s what I thought for the first 2 weeks… when my screaming newborn was finally latched, I was just going to bare it, because hey, he needed to eat! And popping him on and off wasn’t seeming to make a difference. He nursed like crazy. Every 1.5 hours or so. I remember sitting in tears at night, and Matt sitting beside me saying it would be ok. Try again…

But things got better, and we had a great nursing relationship. Breast feeding is a great opportunity to bond with your baby. Sometimes there are moments of feeling a bit overwhelmed, for example at about 6-8 months, before baby is really eating solids well solidly, and they seem to be eating every possible calorie out of you. And then there is the “touched out” moments. Those times are a little hard too.

But, I can genuinely say there is nothing quite like the knowing, that you have sustained a little helpless life, and he has grown to be a chubby little munchkin, all from the milk of your breast. That is the way God designed it. The way he designed you. Wow.

I feel in my heart that it would be hard to argue that. From a functional perspective, this is why women have breasts. I wonder why then, so many women feel uncomfortable to nurse in public. Or do they? I know that sometimes, a private place is preferred. Once I am able to nurse discreetly, I have no problems with doing so in public. But, it sometimes seems that even when being discreet, you can make others feel uncomfortable. What would you call that? Maybe it’s not the mothers insecurities about nursing in public, but the others that may have to bear witness.

I feel I do need to say that I have gotten many friendly gazes from women when nursing. I have even had older Omish ladies try to look at my baby while nursing (slightly crossing the line for me) but, a pat on his head was not the end of the world. There are those women who just love new little babies, and they get it. Breastfeeding is natural. You don’t have to be scared of me!

I feel like my relationship to nursing is pretty good. But you know, sometimes, people can view you as one of those mothers. As if it were really bizarre to breastfeed or baby wear, or to have a drug free birth. Now, to me, as I have shared before, these things are normal. I think. They are not overly unusual. I feel as though I didn’t really notice it with E, but something seems to have changed lately. I feel like I am starting to get the “looks.” You know the ones… the “Why is she breast feeding that big baby. He shouldn’t be nursing. Should he?”

I feel like I could say, in answer to my question, that breast feeding for the first year is socially acceptable in our society today. The general notion seems to be that anything after that might be pushing the line, and if you are going to do it, make sure you definitely do so in private.

Such sentiments have given birth to self proclaimed “lactivists.”  Mothers who hold nurse-ins in public places, fighting for their right to feed their child how they wish.

I think it is important to protect the rights of not only mothers, but babies as well. I think it is important to talk as women, so that we can break down constructs put in place by wack public opinions. I want as many women as possible to be able to give their baby the opportunity to breastfeed.

Sometimes though, it feels like certain issues are made into breast feeding issues… when it really isn’t the case. And I feel like is hurting the cause.

So what is it with breast feeding. Why is it a hot button issue? When do you think it’s okay, and when is it not? Should there even be a distinction?

*disclaimer: I know the word feel was used an unbelievable amount of times. I will work harder to find an alternative 😉