It is official. I have surpassed the length of time I breastfed my first baby. G and I are at 19.5 months and counting. The funny thing is, part of me feels proud, but an almost larger part of me feels like writing it on a piece of paper, and then putting said piece of paper in the closet.
Our society is funny.
We’re funny because, even though WHO and Health Canada both recommend breast feeding until 2 years and beyond, it isn’t something you see often. Let me rephrase that, it isn’t something I see often. I don’t personally know many moms who breast feed past a year, let alone 2. So the “beyond” is kind of an un-tapped land in my world. Will G and I be part of the beyond? Will people someday relay stories about their Toddler Friend who would ask his mom to nurse? Or the hippy lady who had her child verbally request… the breast?
Have you ever heard (or thought) “when they can ask for it, they are too old to nurse?” I always feel a little bit uncomfortable when I hear this. Why? Well, because both of my boys could “ask” me for milk from about 8-9 months of age and onward. I don’t mean with a cry, I mean with signing… they had the ability to communicate with me when they wanted to nurse. And they continued to communicate on into the verbal stage. As a mom, I actually found this really helpful. It was one less factor in the guessing game that is parenting…
This isn’t the first time I have pondered our cultural acceptance of breast-feeding. It is however the first time I have begun to wonder about the acceptance of my nursing relationship with my son amongst my peers. Other moms and dads. I was actually really appreciative of a comment I received recently from another mom who said “I think it is awesome that you are still breast feeding him! That is just really cool.” I don’t think everyone shares her sentiment.
It is cool. Right? I am not asking you, I am asking myself. Its funny, because breast feeding has not really been overly difficult for me. Sure, it was a little rocky at the start with E, but things with G have been really smooth. The hardest thing to date was the premature weaning of E at 19mths when my milk dried up due to pregnancy. Having him nurse, and cry, and be frustrated that nothing was coming out was so hard… it was frustrating to see the soother and the bottle become necessary for us to phase out of nursing. He just wasn’t ready, and it took a long time to wean him off the soother because of that.
Some days, I do feel totally over nursing a toddler. Its true, he can ask for it, and he does. Lately, much more than usual. For example (prepare the sleep woes) I am still in the process of night weaning G. Which is hard sometimes, because most of the night he sleeps with us. Our bed is his bed, and thats the way he likes it. He has toddled in there every night since he could toddle, and may continue to do so for quite some time. And when he arrives, he pumps his little fist and requests “side” (don’t ask) He is a happy little peanut when he is met with a positive response, but when his not, he spends the remainder of the night in bouts of fitful toddler rage.
Sometimes my husband has alluded to the opinion that we won’t get G to sleep through the night until he is fully weaned. That “night” weaning may not be possible for him. I don’t really believe it, but, sometimes I do. The thing is, even though we don’t sleep through the night, I don’t really see a good enough reason to purposefully wean G. If he wanted to wean, I wouldn’t force him to keep nursing because I thought it was good for him, I’d be happy to oblige. The reality is, he holds the complete opposite opinion.
{I would be remiss not to include that as I completed the above sentence, I heard the pitter patter of G’s feet out of bed. I found him peering into my room, he turned, only to spot me at the kitchen table, met my eyes with a smile and melted into my arms. As I walked into his room, he motioned to the rocker. Enough said.}
All of this to say, that while there are so many statistics, benefits, and hurdles when it comes to breastfeeding… I am just a mom, doing my best to raise my son in a nurturing, loving environment. I am not trying to prove a point for cloth diapering, breastfeeding or co-sleeping. I am simply living my life, and sharing my experience. I really am a normal mom. Whatever that means.