Sometimes you have “one of those weeks” and this one was one of those. It’s not so much the week itself, it’s that by the end of it I just feel tapped. Emotionally, mentally. Do you know what I mean? The moment when you simply need rest, whatever that looks like. Perhaps sitting outside under the rays of the sun, chatting with a good friend, or leaving the house for an over priced cup of something special that you didn’t have to make.
This mama life is so beautiful, and it’s also so much. Matt has had a rather long work week recording ADR for the feature film. I find myself craving adult interaction, and not wanting to meet the needs of three kids for just a few hours. I planned a few outings for the week, saying yes because I knew it would be a good distraction. My nephew was with us for the week as well which kept the boys busy with a sweet pal to play with.
(I love that all 3 of them actually closed their eyes for a fake sleep photo)
I am learning my limits as a mama. I need to find ways to get rest amidst the chaos, even when that means I will have my kids with me 24/7. I have talked about this before- that sometimes being a mama is really draining for this introvert. I went in the bathroom this morning and shut myself in there for a minute after E chipped a pile of paint off a chair that I painted in MMS milk paint (I had moved it inside when it looked like rain, and my 7 year old found it too tempting not to peel all the flakes, even though I told the kids not to touch it) my toddleby was crying and didn’t want to be put down. It was just too much for me before 8 am.
I whispered a prayer.
You see my expectation is that once I have fed the kids, I get to drink my morning coffee in peace. The funny thing is, I don’t know if that has ever happened. It’s a totally unrealistic expectation, based on the fact that it’s probably never been met in almost 8 years. Yet every morning, I fill that cup of coffee with expectancy and hope. Half of it usually goes cold, or get’s downed before I am off to change a dirty diaper.
So, what can I do differently? Mothering, and life in general, is tricky because you want to develop structure in your day ( at least I do) and yet, at any time the plan can be thrown off. Your coffee goes cold so to speak.
There are always unexpected events in the day, the week, the month, the year, that derail you from the course of your plans. For example, take the three little monkeys in my bed- not one of them was “planned” to be when they were, and yet, they are one of the best pieces of my life.
What is it that leaves you expecting a hot cup of coffee, yet drinking a cold one? How can you lay down your expectations, yet live with holy expectancy. It’s a question I ask myself often.
My prayer today, for you and I is that we would encounter the goodness of God. Feeling his peace in the plan, even when it isn’t familiar to us.
-Miss Ash
The sweetest photos of you kids ! ❤️