I’m Listening…

So after writing this post I decided to flip into my bible and read a little more thoroughly around Proverbs 4:23. Last year I bought a really cool bible called “The Love Languages Devotional Bible” (which I’m sure you can find on Amazon! I HIGHLY recommend it for married couples!) There are weekly devotionals and bible studies with a focus for married couples… and it just so happened that there is a little devotional surrounding Proverbs 4:25-27. I am going to expand on them a bit and share the following:

My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words.

Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body.

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. 

Avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech.

Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.

Mark a straight path for your feet; stay on the path. 

Don’t get side tracked; keep your feet from following evil.

Proverbs 4:20-27

As I was reading I was so deeply struck specifically by the verses in bold. I love reading scripture in different translations… I had shared a different translation in my previous post, and as I read the words “for it determines the course of your life” I realized that God is saying something to me. 🙂 Sometimes I look back on my life experiences and realize what I learned from them… but right now, I feel like God is trying to show me something that really needs to be deeply rooted in my heart. Over the last few days, Matt and I have been talking about how we are “yes” people… and we accommodate others… but not always in a good way. We often sacrifice things in our own personal lives, or family life, to make things possible for others, and then we fight feeling frustrated, bitter or angry about it, because really… we do it to ourselves. We also let the plans and decisions of people that are close to us, dictate our life. These sound like strong statements, and you might be thinking “Woah guys… you have problems.”  When you are most definitely not a “no” person it can be easy to fall into this behaviour, but God has been giving me little words of encouragement to set boundaries, seek wisdom, and re-evaluate my personal priorities and values. I think he is also challenging us as a couple. After a few hours of talking and processing (Matt and I just have the best talks sometimes) we came to the conclusion that it isn’t about defining what we want for our lives, but about determining what God wants for our lives. This is a very counter-cultural message in North America. I really believe we are living in a time where the “have it all” message is destroying many, many hearts. For those that are working to have it all, they are pushed down by the stress to keep it all… for those that do “have it all” they find themselves still feeling empty… and then feeling bad that they can’t get it together. If you don’t have it all… well, you might just be a loser. In marriages, conflicting desires of what each wants is making life very difficult.

As Matt and I continued to discuss what it would look like to chart a path to pursue what God wants for us… we started to reflect on what sort of filter we can use to determine this, which we are definitely still figuring it out.  Right away 2 things were obvious for me: being a helper and godly wife to my husband (learning more about what that looks like) and being a mom to my kids. So, I have 2 obvious priorities, and I need to really seek God about what it looks like to live this out. That leads me to the next verse that really spoke to me “Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark a straight path for your feet; stay on the path.” Those last 4 words hit me something heavy. Stay on the path. Mark the path, stay on it. Bam. It affirms for me what Matt and I also talked about, which is taking time to sit down as a couple and really reconnect with the cry of our hearts. Somedays it seems we have silenced it to a whisper…

When I flipped back in my Bible- I fell upon the devotional I had mentioned earlier. It’s title “Focusing on the Goal” centres on Proverbs 4:25-27. I couldn’t help but smile a little, and chuckle. (prego chuckle?) Ok God, you are definitely saying something to me and us. The first sentence reads:

“Ironic, isn’t it, that with all the “timesavers” of modern technology, we seem to have even less time for eachother?”

it goes on to read

“How do we make time? By eliminating some of the good things we are doing so that we will have time for the best. Life’s meaning is not found in money, sports, shopping, academic success, or career achievement, as good as some of those things are. It is found in relationship- first with God, and then with people. If you are married, nothing is more important than your marital relationship. It is the framework in which God wants you to invest your life and experience His love.”

Those last few words almost bring tears to my eyes… the last few months have been really difficult for us. In some ways the last few years. We have gone through some major life experiences apart and together, and understanding how to whether those storms as a couple isn’t always easy. There are moments when I have felt like Matt and I are some of the unhappiest happy people… Life isn’t about simply being happy, and I know that, but we are allowing ourselves to get burnt out, floundering, and feeling a bit discouraged because we know, while there are many things we can do, do do… want to do, we are not doing them to our best. The time is right to be more intentional about where and who we invest our life into, and therefore our love.

It isn’t always easy to share about love and life, plans and failures. You know, the big things. It can be much more fun to post house updates, and funny stories about motherhood… and to keep those achings of the heart quiet.  I thank you for being a part of my life friends, the whole and unedited version… well. Mostly unedited 😉

I would love to connect more with you in the year ahead. I don’t know exactly what that would look like, but I think one way that is practical to do that is through prayer. Prayer is one way I stay intentional about the people I love. While I may not always be the most consistent with staying connected by making phone calls or sending messages… My friends are in my prayers. So, I am inviting you to share any prayer requests either in the comments or just send me an email: thismamasdance[at}gmail.com And this isn’t just open to married friends… really just anything! Even if you are not the praying type, it’s ok, because I am!

Be blessed.

-Miss Ash