Another birthday has come and gone, and I am another year older. I used to think that 30 year olds were kind of like, what you only wish you could be in your 20’s. Calm, collected, have a bit of a grasp on life… you know. Real Adults. Seeing the number 28 on the screen however, makes me feel like a bit of an impostor. I feel like I am 20, newly married… just sorting out this whole adult thing! How have 8 years gone by. As some of my SoCal fam would say… what a trip.
Yet here I am. Living life with my sweet tender hearted husby, doing our best to be parents to our 2 beautiful boys, and figuring out life as we go. To be honest, I feel like the biggest thing I have figured out is that you don’t have to have all the answers. Sometimes you fly by the seat of your pants. Sometimes, you make mistakes, and other days you look back and wonder how you have accomplished even half of what you set out to do! Life is a mystery. I try to hear my heartbeat within it all, to be in our daily life, and at other moments to step back and look at the bigger picture. What a blink of an eye this life will be, in all it’s fullness, it is but a breath.
There was one thing I really wanted this year (call me a dreamer) which was some quality time to connect and recharge with my husband. I miss all the time we once had together, the pace of life has left us with few moments to gaze into one another’s eyes…. I’ll never forget as I was falling in love with Matt my dear Mizz Deborah described “looking into his eyes… the smell of his neck” Love. Those moments of falling in love when the stars were exploding all around your heart and your souls interlocked with but a glance. Now I gaze at him wrapped in little arms, telling stories by a dim light to 2 little boys who long for his words. His time. His heart. Hearing him wake early in the morning to head out and work for our dreams. Pounding away building our home by the sweat of his brow… and the twinkling eyes he get’s when he sees my satisfaction in one of {our} projects. With a knowing look… while I ask him his thoughts, isn’t it cute… can you believe we did this!? But do you really like it? I think I love it!
And so, for my birthday we went to one of our favorite spots, Canmore. Just the 2 of us. Such a gift. Our sweet Kooman clan pitched in and kept our boys alive and loving life for the weekend. We spent the weekend alone, with quiet, and lots of eating out and walking, talking and holding hands. We browsed antiques and fun shops, we enjoyed the crisp air, and warm soup. We even celebrated my birthday with Mango and Sticky Rice. Yum. And we talked about our family, our dreams, our frustrations, and all that we have to be thankful for. That we are not in this alone, and we need to remember who our source is. To turn to Jesus with our dreams, our questions and our hope. To help us keep our love strong and thriving. And to not lose sight of what is truly important.
I find it is so easy to be overwhelmed in this life. It isn’t necessary. I need to remember that. I am so thankful for a weekend away with my love. I woke up to sunshine on my birthday morning, and happy boys. E made me a card… and I asked if he knew how old I was… “Ummmm. 68?!” With shock on my face he responded “No wait! I mean 69!” It’s always better to be older when you are a kid…
I guess parents really do seem old to their kids. Which obviously means we are the coolest.
-Mizz Ash
Past Birthday Blogs:
A weekend away is truly a dream come true! I googled Canmore…so beautiful! I love how you have a Birthday Blog series…happy belated birthday to you!
Thanks Christine! One day maybe you can make your way up to Canada and take in the Canadian Rockies with your clan 🙂